This morning I went for a walk with Hugo. As I walked out of the building, I felt that cold, fresh, crisp air. It was a little damp with the smell of seawater and slightly foggy. The air was thick, and the wind was mild. It was so calm.
I walked and listened to some mantras. They had simply popped up on my YouTube feed as I woke up, and by now I know to listen and follow, no questions asked. When something pops up that draws me in, I listen, I watch, I absorb. But that's a topic for another story.
It was pretty gray out – no sun. You could really feel the salty seawater in the air. Some people might say it was a miserable morning, but for me, it was beautiful. I enjoyed every step of the way.
A Memory of Algarve
I suddenly remembered how, a few years back, we were in Algarve, and I didn't manage to see the beach, walk on the sand, or enjoy the ocean waves. Why?
I was either just after knee surgery or between surgeries. I struggled with walking, and in Algarve, to get to the beach, you always face endless stairs. Stairs that didn't matter to me a few years before, but at that time, they became an obstacle preventing me from getting to the beach.
At that time, simple walking was an achievement. I think I was still using crutches to move around. Don't get me wrong, even then, I felt extremely happy. I was happy I could move around at all, swim in a pool, and enjoy the sun. I was enjoying my independence in moving around.
Why Did I Remember This Today?
I realized that I can walk today without crutches. Yes, my knee gives me pain from time to time, but it's bearable. I'm exercising and can be active again. And I can walk! A year ago, standing for longer than 5 minutes would give me immense pain. That was my life for over three years – three knee operations within that time (five in total).
I always seem to forget the pain, the struggle, and what it took me to overcome and be able to walk again. Now, I even think of dancing again! I feel my muscles getting stronger as I exercise daily. I can be moderately active, ride a bike, swim, and walk.
Weight Gain and a Journey of Recovery
During this three-year knee rollercoaster, I gained weight. When you can't move, and you have insulin resistance and thyroid issues, it's difficult not to put on weight. It's especially tough when you can't move at all or with very limited movement. You just need to be patient and take baby steps when it comes to exercising.
People like me need to move to boost our metabolism. I also didn't know about my insulin resistance until after my second surgery. It made sense why I gained so much weight; I was nearly 97-98 kg.
Judgment and the Lack of Compassion
Hearing someone say that I don't look like a wellness lover and don't represent my brand well is a horrible thing to say. Why do we say such things about one another? Why? You never know what another person is going through or the struggles they've needed to overcome. Why don't we keep those kinds of opinions to ourselves? Honestly, having an opinion like that about anyone just shows what kind of person you are. You don't see the whole person, just the surface. There's no attempt to be understanding, compassionate, or loving – just judgment. That saying "don't judge a book by its cover" exists for a reason, and yet we so often do.
It also shows how vicious, shallow, and judgmental people can be. Honestly, I couldn't care less about how I looked at that time. I couldn't walk or move! I was in excruciating pain for weeks after one of my surgeries. That particular procedure involved micro-breaking my bones to get bone marrow to help recover my cartilage and cleanse some damaged bone structure, all in preparation for my 3rd ACL reconstruction. My bones were broken in multiple places at the same time! It was super painful. So why would I even care about looks?
The Cost of Unkind Words
I was forbidden to put any weight on my knee for six weeks. Movement was only allowed with a device that strictly controlled knee bending. After that came another eight weeks without weight-bearing, meaning walking only with crutches, where my other leg and arms needed to hold my entire body weight. How do you do cardio with such restrictions? I didn't eat much, but my metabolism doesn't work very well.
And yet, someone will tell you that you don't look like a good representation of a wellness company...
Well, to those people, I send you a lot of blessings and love, as I think people who say such things need it. They don't feel good about themselves, so they don't show love to others. The only way for them to feel better is to belittle someone else. Instead of putting in the work and becoming a better version of themselves, they choose to manipulate, use others, and hurt others. There's a cost for doing that, as your soul knows what you are doing. You can lie to everyone and be a master of manipulation and playing the victim, but your soul knows. So when you're alone, it eats you up. These people turn to drugs, alcohol, and other substances to quiet that inner voice. So I send them all love and compassion.
A True Example of Wellness
Honestly, I am a perfect example of a wellness lover and the perfect face of a wellness company, no matter my weight (it goes up and down) and no matter my size. I know why it's important to take care of yourself. With my multiple health issues, I've tried a lot of diets and training programs. I've tried it all, and I have the experience and knowledge, which I'm happy to share.
I've learned that there's no perfect diet for everyone, no ideal training routine, and no single best recipe for meditation and mindfulness practice. I've learned what questions to ask when seeing your doctor and the importance of tuning into your body and understanding it. I've learned how to observe your body and read the signals it sends you.
The Power of Small Steps
It all starts with a decision and making that small step. I know we tend to underestimate those tiny, little steps we take at the beginning, but we shouldn't. We just need to keep going. The size of our steps needs to fit what we're comfortable with today and what we enjoy doing. It should bring a smile to your face or at least make you feel happy internally. The process is enjoyable and does require dedication and sometimes pain (oh, my physiotherapy after surgeries is nothing but pain, even though I can find joyful moments there too).
Without those tiny steps, I wouldn't be able to walk today, and there was no other way to do it. I couldn't accelerate it or make it faster. My recovery needed time, and if you're struggling with something, be assured you need time too. Take it easy, but start moving forward today with baby steps. Every day, move a little bit further.
Appreciation is a Choice
Yes, appreciation and happiness are choices. Appreciate what you have today. Be in this moment that is now. As I walked today, I felt so grateful and happy because I am walking. I can do that now, and it took so much to be able to do it again, so why don't I appreciate it more often? I am the luckiest and happiest woman in the world. Why don't I appreciate myself and my body more for what it has done for me? It recovered. It exercised. It went through a lot of pain, but it recovered. WOW, this is amazing how it works.
I feel so grateful to be able to walk again. Thank you to my doctors, physiotherapists, and my great family, who stood by me and helped me go through all my ups and downs.
I did 3106 steps in the morning, and it was awesome! I enjoyed every step of this walk – just me, my dog Hugo, some mantras music, the river, parked boats. There was also a beautiful swan. I said hello to him. He looked at me with his dignified way, noticing me, saying hello back, and whispering that spring is coming. Everything is slowly waking up. It's time to enjoy your life, right now. Don't take it for granted. Appreciate what you are gifted with today.
Love you all,
Magda
